UnitedMania.com

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru DC
Not a fanatic was glad, most felt such unease
Another season had crashed, nowhere even near
The lofty heights that United fans hold dear

The team had wallowed, another year long funk
While visions of glory became just so much bunk
Fans wept in their kerchiefs and some in their beer
Then settled in with a sigh, another winter of drear

Then out of the blue, Soehn quit with a letter
And we sprang to alert, wondering who would be better
He was a poor coach, often looking inept
But with no one on tap, should he have been kept?

Bare one week more was another new fallen pro
Olsen the Lion, he would no longer roar
So what about the rest of our aging core?
With this year’s failures, would they too be no more?

With a snarling club president, so moody and vain
I knew in a moment, it was all up to St. Payne
More rapid than eagles, his problems they came
And he cursed and shouted and called them by name!

Oh Gomez, Oh Jaime, Oh Emilio and Fred!
Legends all, could your time here really be dead?
To the top of the league, at least top of the East
So lop away, lop away, cut one at least!

Pricey talent nearing the end of their run
For DC to improve, younger they must become
So Payne’s worries mount and fans remain down
But decisions must start with a coach of renown

And then in a twinkling, a savior emerged?
To the College Cup undefeated he surged
But he spurned DC to stay in Ohio
Leaving fans baffled that he had said no

Still no coach has been found to take the wheel
Of a team where titles are part of the deal
But a ray of light shines, there is someone new
Wing Christian Castillo, a true lefty too!

His feet how they twinkle, his skills how thrilling
With speed to burn and a spirit that’s willing
Youthful too from a country DC panders
To bump attendance if said with much candor

So while the team is silent and we remain worried
There’s reason to hope they simply refuse to be hurried
In solving the flaws this brutal year exposed
Patience will be tested before this off-season is closed

But there is promise, some right jolly young elfs
And I get excited for next year in spite of myself
A wink of an eye, and a few key additions
Will see DC right back to its lofty traditions

So while there’s been a not a word, there’s reason for hopes
All positions will be filled and not with some dopes
So by laying a finger aside of your nose
Trust in Payne, set aside the questions you pose

They’ll spring to the tasks as soon as they’re ready
And away they’ll rebound, winning will become steady
No news is good news, no need for fright
So happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!